Only 3 weeks left until the 5k run.
I am trying to visualize myself in it, I can see myself running across the finish line. It's the start and middle that I can't see.
I'm having a hard go with the running. I start out okay, but if my mind starts to wander I forget what I'm doing and my feet stop. I try to tell myself to run through the hard bits and I slowly do that but again my feet just stop. So with 3 weeks left I need to move past the hard bit and concentrate on the running and just keep going.
AHHHH
Friday, September 21, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Continuing Journey
Where have I been?
Oh, just hanging out.
I've started a new goal, I've started training for a 5k run, which doesn't sound like much but I've always had a fear of running. Probably because I've never really learned how to run correctly but also because I've never had the confidence in myself to do it.
So I'm doing the walk run technique, right now I'm walking 3 minutes and running for 1. Actually, starting tomorrow I move up to running for 2 minutes, aahhhh.
Exciting though, in 11 weeks I'll be running in the Scotiabank 5k, so fingers crossed all goes well for the next 2 months.
Oh, just hanging out.
I've started a new goal, I've started training for a 5k run, which doesn't sound like much but I've always had a fear of running. Probably because I've never really learned how to run correctly but also because I've never had the confidence in myself to do it.
So I'm doing the walk run technique, right now I'm walking 3 minutes and running for 1. Actually, starting tomorrow I move up to running for 2 minutes, aahhhh.
Exciting though, in 11 weeks I'll be running in the Scotiabank 5k, so fingers crossed all goes well for the next 2 months.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
We don't have your size
I was in a store this weekend and was told they don't have my size.
Good times.
Not.
That was a first for me.
Made me feel like shit though.
Good times.
Not.
That was a first for me.
Made me feel like shit though.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Bright World
I feel different.
I feel better, happier, more relaxed and things seem clearer.
I wrote a short piece of non-fiction for the CBC's Canada Writes contest and I think that helped me put my before life into perspective and helped me realize that i am not feeling that way any more. Acknowledging that seems to have lifted a huge weight from my shoulders.
Speaking of huge weight being lifted, it's Friday, which is weigh day for me. I am down 55.5lbs - holy crap - I am about 6lbs away from the unknown zone, I'm pulling clothes out of the closet that I haven't worn for years and years and know if I don't wear them now I won't be wearing them again. And in a few weeks I will be halfway to my goal. Not sure which is more surreal - that I'm 6lbs away from the halfway point or 6lbs away from the unknown zone.
Either way, all positive.
Even though the sun isn't shining today, things are bright in my world.
I feel better, happier, more relaxed and things seem clearer.
I wrote a short piece of non-fiction for the CBC's Canada Writes contest and I think that helped me put my before life into perspective and helped me realize that i am not feeling that way any more. Acknowledging that seems to have lifted a huge weight from my shoulders.
Speaking of huge weight being lifted, it's Friday, which is weigh day for me. I am down 55.5lbs - holy crap - I am about 6lbs away from the unknown zone, I'm pulling clothes out of the closet that I haven't worn for years and years and know if I don't wear them now I won't be wearing them again. And in a few weeks I will be halfway to my goal. Not sure which is more surreal - that I'm 6lbs away from the halfway point or 6lbs away from the unknown zone.
Either way, all positive.
Even though the sun isn't shining today, things are bright in my world.
Friday, January 27, 2012
4 Wheels on the Floor
It's Friday, in my world that means official weigh in day.
The news is good - down 51lbs since November 4th. WOW.
I am amazed when I word it like that, but if I continue like this I may reach my goal by November of this year. Again Wow.
Went roller skating last night, yep, quad skating. Very old school. I roller skated once in public school, I think it was grad 7. 10 years of figure skating may have helped me last night, but considering that was 25 years ago, I doubt it. I worked up a sweat, my feet and knees were sore and I'll probably do it again this Thursday. Why the hell not, its fun and it will help when I join the Roller Derby.
My week is dam busy these days, Nia on Mondays, Cooking on Tuesdays, Skating on Thursdays....I may be running sooner then expected, will have to figure out where to put that in the schedule.
Fun times and IT's FRIDAY, yay. I'm tired.
Enjoy!
H
The news is good - down 51lbs since November 4th. WOW.
I am amazed when I word it like that, but if I continue like this I may reach my goal by November of this year. Again Wow.
Went roller skating last night, yep, quad skating. Very old school. I roller skated once in public school, I think it was grad 7. 10 years of figure skating may have helped me last night, but considering that was 25 years ago, I doubt it. I worked up a sweat, my feet and knees were sore and I'll probably do it again this Thursday. Why the hell not, its fun and it will help when I join the Roller Derby.
My week is dam busy these days, Nia on Mondays, Cooking on Tuesdays, Skating on Thursdays....I may be running sooner then expected, will have to figure out where to put that in the schedule.
Fun times and IT's FRIDAY, yay. I'm tired.
Enjoy!
H
Friday, January 20, 2012
Unfocused and Disconnected
I've been struggling these past few weeks, struggling with my eating - I feel sick all the time, before I eat, after I eat, but I did find out that this will pass. Phew.
I've also been struggling because I feel myself wanting to slip into my old "comfort" lifestyle.
One good thing is I can't because the comfort foods make me sick, but it doesn't seem to stop me from trying. This morning I thought I'd try a bagel with cream cheese, STUPID, I ate half of it and now for the last 90 minutes I've had a lump of coal stuck in my mid section. Bread is just not doable any more. I had a tuna sandwich earlier this week, made it through most of it and then had to stop, before I threw up. The tuna was great, the bread, NOPE.
But the big question is why am I feeling the need to revert back to that place?
The only thing I can think of is WORK. Stupid work.
It's been so stressful here since I came back, people are angry, discouraged, disheartened and it radiates like a cancer across the floor. It's year end, people want to know if they're going to get a bonus, people want to know that they did okay on their performance evaluations, the higher ups are counting pennies to try to get to the set goals. Add to that major software issues and it's just not a happy place.
But why can't I get above all of that?
I'm also feeling very unfocused and disconnected. I've been busy every night this week, which means I'm coming to work unprepared food wise. And that just leads to more problems because I pick foods that may not be the best choice for me.
What am I going to do about all of this?
Well Sunday I'm going grocery shopping for foods that I can prepare in advance and freeze.
I'm going to sort through all the clothes that have been given to me, get rid of a few that are now too big (yay) and see if I can feel a bit more organized for next week, because its going to be another busy week.
What's on you ask?
Well I've been going to Nia - a dance/yoga/tai chi sort of work out that is a lot of fun. I've been going once a week, hopefully this week I can kick it up to twice.
I started a vegetarian indian cooking class, the first session was amazing so I'm very excited about week two.
And I've been seeing a lot of movies lately in preparation for the big event - THE OSCARS!!
(still haven't seen Shame as it's downtown and I hate paying for parking to see a movie)
My goal is to also use this site to help me work through some of my challenges, to stop hiding from myself and get things out into the world.
Cheers.
H
I've also been struggling because I feel myself wanting to slip into my old "comfort" lifestyle.
One good thing is I can't because the comfort foods make me sick, but it doesn't seem to stop me from trying. This morning I thought I'd try a bagel with cream cheese, STUPID, I ate half of it and now for the last 90 minutes I've had a lump of coal stuck in my mid section. Bread is just not doable any more. I had a tuna sandwich earlier this week, made it through most of it and then had to stop, before I threw up. The tuna was great, the bread, NOPE.
But the big question is why am I feeling the need to revert back to that place?
The only thing I can think of is WORK. Stupid work.
It's been so stressful here since I came back, people are angry, discouraged, disheartened and it radiates like a cancer across the floor. It's year end, people want to know if they're going to get a bonus, people want to know that they did okay on their performance evaluations, the higher ups are counting pennies to try to get to the set goals. Add to that major software issues and it's just not a happy place.
But why can't I get above all of that?
I'm also feeling very unfocused and disconnected. I've been busy every night this week, which means I'm coming to work unprepared food wise. And that just leads to more problems because I pick foods that may not be the best choice for me.
What am I going to do about all of this?
Well Sunday I'm going grocery shopping for foods that I can prepare in advance and freeze.
I'm going to sort through all the clothes that have been given to me, get rid of a few that are now too big (yay) and see if I can feel a bit more organized for next week, because its going to be another busy week.
What's on you ask?
Well I've been going to Nia - a dance/yoga/tai chi sort of work out that is a lot of fun. I've been going once a week, hopefully this week I can kick it up to twice.
I started a vegetarian indian cooking class, the first session was amazing so I'm very excited about week two.
And I've been seeing a lot of movies lately in preparation for the big event - THE OSCARS!!
(still haven't seen Shame as it's downtown and I hate paying for parking to see a movie)
My goal is to also use this site to help me work through some of my challenges, to stop hiding from myself and get things out into the world.
Cheers.
H
Monday, January 2, 2012
No Longer Toooo Fat!
I've been slack in blogging, I think I've just been trying to make it through each day without feeling ill. Why ill, well I'm pushing things. I've been trying to eat the foods I use to eat and they aren't working. Instead I should be eating the foods recommended and just sticking with that.
I have discovered, even though I can eat bread, it makes me feel blah after, which means, I really need to stay away from it.
I tried a McDonald's hamburger yesterday, it stayed down, but I felt like crap after, gotta stay away from that (which in the big picture is a good thing).
As much as I don't really want to do this, I need to go back to the beginning and start over. Soft foods, liquidity foods, go back to the good and forget about trying to eat whatever I want.
Oh the other thing I need to remember is I can't eat full meals that you would get at a restaurant. So instead of paying $20 for something you're not going to eat, get a salad or an appetizer and call it a day. I cleaned out the fridge yesterday and there were a whole slew of "leftover" containers from restaurants full of food that I couldn't finish. Think small, think flavourful, think economical.
Its 2012, this is the year my life is changing for the good. All the things I've put off because I've been too fat, I'm going to do.
Run a 5k
Ride a roller coaster
Skydive
Go to exercise classes
Go dancing
So if this is the year the world ends, I won't have any regrets.
H
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